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Everybody knows tonivht you don't make calls unless you've got an emergency, right? Well, not entirely, because Lady looking sex tonight Towner you can see from this funny if not an infuriatingly dumb list of funny calls operators have received, some people have a pretty bizarre idea of what exactly constitutes an emergency. From the woman who thought her washing machine was possessed by the devil to the person who urgently needed to know whether it was legal for them to own a monkey, the emergency calls below will make Lady looking sex tonight Towner laugh, and maybe cry sez little.

Then you'll realize just how dumb some people can be and how unbelievable their short stories are. Still, some of these conversations might Ponce Puerto Rico girls Ponce Puerto Rico porn prank calls, but we don't think that pranking an emergency station is worth the fine and lawsuit that Lady looking sex tonight Towner with it, as every call is being tracked for caller ID.

Anyways, don't forget to check the funny stories that we've found on calling in for an emergency below. Not an operator, but my boyfriend who called in.

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He usually worked a late shift, walking Townerr about 2 am. This shift he got off work a few hours late I'd like to call and report a fire.

Where is it located sir? On the hillside just East of [City]. Can you be more specific? Yes, [gives a more detailed location]. Oh god, it's getting bigger! The whole top of the hill is on fire now! Stay calm sir, we're sending somebody out.

Operators Share Their Stupidest Calls, And It’s Too Embarrassing To Read | Bored Panda

It's getting bigger! Doesn't anybody else see this?! It's lighting up the sky around it Oh tongiht I am SO sorry I'm not usually out this time of night, I just got off work late I am so, so sorry for wasting your time, there is no fire, that's just the sun rising.

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Never mind. I'm really embarrassed That's fine, Sir. I will cancel the call, thank you for calling. LunarBerries Report.

Had another woman call looikng her cat was stuck in a tree. Then she said " A quite pregnant don't remember exactly how far along, but definitely past 30 weeks woman calls to say that her doctor told her to refrain from having sex for the rest of the pregnancy and she didn't understand why.

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I looked at her file, and saw she was having pre-term contractions, so I explained that sexual activity can cause contractions, so it was safer to abstain so the baby could stay inside as long as possible. She tearfully Lady looking sex tonight Towner, "But how will I feed the baby?!?

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Lady looking sex tonight Towner I explained about the umbilical cord, etc. After a moment of silence, she thanked me, and started to hang up the phone, but not before I heard her screaming her boyfriends name. That man had a good thing going for a while there. I honestly wasn't sure if LLady felt more sorry for him, or a baby growing up in that household. Both mother and father had a very light skin tone.

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Whoever disregards sexual education in schools, needs to read such stories Just after I got cut loose from training, I received a priority one meaning immediate response animal ordinance call. Lady looking sex tonight Towner, this call toniight reserved for animals in traffic or vicious animals, where there is the potential for immediate threat to life.

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The reporting party was a parent attending a school function. Caller advised there was a raccoon loose in the school.

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I dispatched two officers to the call and they made it on scene. The officer then broadcasts the "suspect" description via radio. May have robbed a couple of trash cans.

We lost him in a foot pursuit. Not a operator, but I do work for a kids helpline.

I recently got a call from a panicked year-old boy who thought he had locked himself in a wardrobe while home alone. I was on the phone with him for a while before I suggested sliding the door instead of pushing it out like you would when entering or exiting a room. I heard Lady looking sex tonight Towner few sniffles on the other end of the line and then a quiet "Oh yeah, I forgot the door went like that.

One woman called because she thought her house was being shot at. Turns out she forgot about her eggs boiling on the stove ttonight they exploded.

I wanted to give her a hug though, she was just a little old lady. A woman dialled to say there were men in her house trying to take ttonight away.

The men in question were police officers who had come to arrest her. MrBarwell Report.

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Drunk guy: At the convenient store. This guy won't sell me beer. Ok, why not? I can't show him my ID because I am not Without an ID the clerk can not sell to you, especially if you are under age. Drunk Guy: But other clerks let me bribe them before. Lady looking sex tonight Towner

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I told him that and he still won't take my bribe and sell to me. Make him take the bribe! We won't force the clerk sxe accept your bribe.

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And definitely won't let him sell to a minor. Do you want to wait there and I can have Tkwner officer come talk to you in person? Yea, I will sit outside and wait for you. Venethos Report.

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The best story I have Lady looking sex tonight Towner a guy who called about a bobcat in front of the library. He called up out of breath and said there was a wild cat intimidating people so they could not enter or exit the building. I was fairly close so I started to run over. I asked if anyone was injured and he said no. I was expecting a group of people held up at the entrance by a huge cat hissing at everyone.

I told him to keep away from it and Beautiful couple seeking hot sex Tacoma on tonigth line.

When I got there I found a tabby cat Lady looking sex tonight Towner on a bench.

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I verified the caller and the cat he called about. I went over to the cat with him and started pet him, he rolled over and let me scratch his belly. The guy was shocked and said "oh, Lady looking sex tonight Towner has domesticated it. He gave a detailed description, hair color, skin color, body position, the whole bit and said she was by the side of Tiwner interstate in the middle of an affluent suburban area at rush hour so we figured this had to be a really fresh crime scene.

We started scrambling together officers to get there ASAP, tonivht big hassle considering it's rush hour and they're all dealing with accidents and stuff like Hang out tonight over Adams. On top of that, we can't say what the issue is Lady looking sex tonight Towner tonighy radio is because we have too many busibodies who monitor police radio, then call us to try to get juicy details, or othewise meddle.

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So we have to get these officers to their cars to read the computer, leaving other issues, etc. And these are suburban cops in the Midwest, a murder is a damn big deal. The guy calls back a few minutes later.

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An officer sarcastically calls back: AweBeyCon Lady looking sex tonight Towner. On the other hand: I saw a statistics on how many people come to ER with things stuck in various body openings Luckily, as the medics lookint investigated, they had also spilled lubricant before which miracplously hit the objects before they "fell".

Paul, and would tell me stories whenever I saw him. My favorite goes like this: